


Battle Cries

by AdorableNihilist



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26438947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorableNihilist/pseuds/AdorableNihilist
Summary: Jaskier comes to terms with the state of things at the end of the first season of Netflix's adaptation of The Witcher. Inspired by the song Battle Cries by The Amazing Devil.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Kudos: 14





	Battle Cries

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure: This is only based on Netflix's Witcher series. I've read most of the books, but have not found the time to play the games. I tried to write this without drawing from my knowledge of the books, since the story in the show is slightly different. It's a short little angst piece because my brain likes to hurt me.
> 
> I don't know if I actually ship Geralt/Jaskier, really, but it was fun to visit the headspace for a few. I really feel like their relationship is explored more thoroughly in the books and they consider each other to be very close friends. But as far as the show is concerned, I get definite hiding-my-secret-longing-behind-snark vibes and wanted to work from that.   
> **Edit: I don’t know who I was when I said I didn’t ship them. I’m so soft for them. I hadn’t considered that Geralt, Yen and Jaskier would be a fabulous throuple and now I can’t fathom anything else. 
> 
> If you've never listened to anything by The Amazing Devil go do it right now, they're amazing (pun absolutely intended, thank you very much). It's Joey Batey's anti-folk band, and I cannot recommend them highly-enough if you're into that sort of thing.
> 
> The song Battle Cries made me think to write this piece, so if you'd like to listen to it first it might help to give you the vibes I was going for. The song is sung in two parts (Madeline and Joey) with many of them overlapping, so the lyrics are different written down than they come across when listened to. I chopped certain parts out and put an asterisk to indicate where. They were sections that just didn't quite fit with the words when read, so I took them out to preserve the feel I was aiming for.

Battle Cries

Jaskier would relive the day he met Geralt in his mind many times over and wonder if he'd made the right choice. He always arrived at the conclusion that he had made the only decision he could've, and it didn't matter whether it was right nor wrong.

_I'm at the brink, don't laugh_  
_At the winks I've masked_  
_Who'll save you when you fall?_

Their interaction in the tavern had been enough to intrigue Jaskier, to make him curious about this Witcher. Enough to follow him briefly, anyway. _That'd been the plan_. Jaskier would follow him for a while and write some epic new songs, then go about his way and probably never come across the mysterious character again. What happened instead was the last thing that Jaskier expected. He instead found a piece of his life that he hadn't known had been missing.

When they'd encountered Toruqe the Sylvan Jaskier had been certain he'd witness the first of many gruesome killings by the Witcher. Geralt had surprised him by showing the Sylvan mercy. Unfortunately for them, that ended up being a bit of a mistake in the short-term. They'd ended up trapped in a cave and surrounded by angry elves, and Jaskier had been sure his time had come. With the warmth of Geralt, still a near-stranger, against his back to dull the cold chill of dread that ran up his spine, he'd waited for death. It didn't come, thwarted by Geralt's quick mind and quicker movements.

His world-view had been rocked when he learned the truth about the elves, and a part of the greater truth of humanity by proxy. When Filavandrel told him what had really happened to the elves he was gutted. He'd known that humans could be monstrous, but he'd never imagined the true lengths of it until Geralt had shown him by leading him into the shadows at the edges of his little world. When he followed him into that void, where the monsters he'd been taught for so long to fear lurked, he discovered that they were less fierce than he'd been told and man was more so. Filavandrel deigned to let them go, and it shocked Jaskier once more when he thought there couldn't possibly be more surprises.

_The wrinkles and bricks that we're left with at last_  
_And drink will fix all those questions unasked_  
_Who died? And made you king of it all_

_Who wins this war? You've a knack_  
_For applause from the back of the stalls but you lack_  
_The conviction to look at me straight and say yes_

That was when he decided to follow Geralt for longer, until he couldn't anymore or Geralt cast him away, whichever came first. At the very least he needed to find answers to his sudden questions about the history that he'd been lied to about. Geralt seemed to appreciate that Jaskier was willing to see further than the tiny world he'd been taught, where humans superseded everyone else and their lies were the truth. Despite his sometimes gruff nature, he was kind to Jaskier and appeared to enjoy his company. In very little time at all Jaskier considered them to be friends, and Geralt didn't argue the point.

_Now the wind is so warm on the back of my neck_  
_As I walk with the sun hand in hand from the wreck_  
_Some fictions we took to mean fate believe me I know_

It was easy for Jaskier to ask him for the favor of his protection on the night of the banquet for Pavetta's betrothal. Friends did each other favors, and it didn't seem too much to ask. Geralt was used to fighting much more terrifying things than men whose wives were unfaithful, and he would be paid in turn with good food and drink and the opportunity to have his choice of wealthy and beautiful women for a bedmate.

When Geralt admitted during their conversation that Witchers did not have normal lives 'after' they retired, and only lived to serve the singular purpose of hunting until such a time that it killed them, Jaskier had been saddened but accepted the answer Geralt gave. He said that he wanted nothing more, and Jaskier had been stupid enough to believe him at the time. The absolute chaos that followed had done a bit to make him forget that conversation for a while, at any rate.

The banquet had broken out into madness, with Duny showing up and Pavetta discovering her powers. Calanthe had been vicious and violent, but ended up giving in when Geralt fought on behalf of the lovers. Jaskier would not forget that Geralt had chosen to fight for them. Or that he had chosen the Law of Surprise, almost solely in spite of it. They'd both been deeply shocked when Fate immediately showed them both that spite was a losing game.

After that wild evening Jaskier and Geralt had parted ways for some time. When they reunited Jaskier found himself believing just a little more in Fate. That was the day that Geralt had pulled that damned djinn from the lake and nearly killed him. Sure, it had been at least _partly_ Jaskier's fault, since he'd attempted to use the cursed thing to his own ends, but he refused to admit that to Geralt. The following hours had passed in a painful blur, his mind slipping in and out of his control as he gasped for air and drew just enough to keep himself teetering on the edge of life.

_Don't be uncouth, be a man_  
_Don't lie with your eyes, you know I despise that look_  
_You're home. For God's sake I'm_

_Tell the truth to me love, does my hair look as nice_  
_*_

_Done with your dreams, they won't last_  
_Thirty winters will pass, you'll look back_  
_At the *man fifty year old you will be proud to have known._

_'Every single time I follow you I almost die. I have never been so utterly afraid, or so utterly exhilarated.'_ That singular thought had rung in his foggy mind for minutes or hours, he wasn't sure, as he'd floated along in Geralt's embrace while Geralt tried desperately to get him help. The pain had been relegated to the back of his mind after the first little while, his consciousness dulled by it until he couldn't recall what it had felt like to exist without it. He had been acutely aware of Geralt's strong arms around him and the thumping and bouncing of Roach beneath him. It felt like home.

_Cos these plates they smash like waves_  
_Place your smile in mine_  
_And the wine stains hide the tears_  
_Why stay? Hide the_

Then Yennifer of Vengerberg had come into their lives. He'd opened his eyes to her beautiful, terrifying face staring down at him with an intensity he'd never witnessed before. She'd demanded that he make his final wish and release the djinn, and then all hell had broken loose once more. Geralt had tried to save her, ever-the-hero. When Jaskier had run from the collapsing house and left him in there to finish his business, a deep pit of fear and regret had dug itself into his belly. He realized at that moment that he loved Geralt, and his heart dropped when he thought he'd been lost. 

_But that breathing you hear don't mistake it for sighs_  
_Don't you realise - They're just battle cries dear_  
_And these lines aren't wrinkles dear heart_  
_Hardly knew the words_  
_They're just dollops of paint on a new work of art_  
_I'm dolled up love don't I deserve to just_

He had confusing, mixed feelings when he discovered Geralt and Yennefer later, when the rubble settled, fucking like a pair of rabbits in the spring. He was glad beyond measure that his friend was alive, but his heart ached when he realized that he'd likely never be able to tell Geralt how he truly felt. He decided then that he would be alright, if he never told him, as long as he got to be near him. He _was_ a poet, after all. Unrequited love was something he should have expected from his existence, and he supposed that a lifetime of friendship was better than not having Geralt at all.

_And as I walk away I know I've been through the wars,_  
_But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it's applause_

_Come on love, please don't start_  
_Sing your notes, play your part_  
_Then we'll leave. We were gods_

_With you I could summon the gods and the stars_  
_Watch them dance out the plays that we wrote from the heart_  
_And we'd laugh at the ghosts of our fears. *_

When Yennefer exited their lives as abruptly as she'd entered Jaskier had been glad, though he'd determined to stay the course regarding the nature of his relationship with Geralt. An entire year passed, and he was the only one who accompanied Geralt nearly everywhere that he went. It was almost _domestic_. He grew accustomed to being the only person Geralt shared his life with in that time, waking up near him and going to sleep near him, though he never got to act on his desire for more. He settled for the stolen glances and little touches that occurred innocently enough during daily life. He would watch Geralt be who he was, and would love him, and it would be enough to be cared for as a friend and companion in return.

_'Come at me your blaggards you'd yell_  
_From the back of the gallery_  
_Say goodbye. I am not_

_'Come at me you blaggards', you'd yell from the banks_  
_*_  
_You dragged us both into the darkness that grows_  
_Oh dear God. I won't_

_But we sunk into water no creature can know_  
_You dragged me along to watch all your shows_  
_Our devils broke rank, and out of the depths came an army_

Then Fate had shown her face once more and Geralt agreed to go with Borch Three Jackdaws and his companions on a damned dragon-hunt, despite Jaskier's protests. If he'd almost lost Geralt to a djinn he didn't want to consider what would happen when they encountered a _dragon_. Geralt had initially declined the offer, saying that he didn't kill dragons, and Jaskier had been incredibly relieved only to have his hopes dashed when _she_ showed up once again and he _immediately_ changed his mind. Geralt would always choose Yennefer, and it hurt no less each time it happened than it had that first time, in the rubble of that grand house.

_Leave without a fight_  
_I won't let you turn our last night into this_  
_I'm going to binge watch a box set, drink wine, reminisce_  
_This isn't a break up dear heart, it's a season finale._

_Cos these plates they smash like waves_  
_Place your smile in mine_  
_And the wine stains hide the tears_  
_Why stay? Hide the_

_But that breathing you hear don't mistake it for sighs_  
_Don't you realise - They're just battle cries dear_  
_And these lines aren't wrinkles dear heart_  
_Hardly knew the words_  
_They're just dollops of paint on a new work of art_  
_I'm dolled up love don't I deserve to just_

In the ensuing business with Borch and his companions, and their fall from the cliff, Jaskier had been worried that Geralt would call their travels to an end. When he awoke alone the next morning, Geralt gone and the space around him cold and empty, he'd felt all of the air rush from his lungs as though he'd been struck. Geralt had left him, without a single word. Finding him at the cave with Yennefer had been another heavy blow. The final had come when Geralt had blamed his misfortune on Jaskier, stating that if life could just bless him just once by removing Jaskier, he'd be thankful. _That_ had hurt worse than any of the wounds Jaskier had sustained in their time together.

_And as I walk away I know I've been through the wars,_  
_But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it's applause_

_It's not pain it's applause_

_All it took to unearth in the dust and the dirt_  
_Some release or respite from the heat and the hurt_  
_Was taking the time now and then to ask how I am_

_And now at the end, at the end of all things,_  
_I'm not going to scream, beat my chest at the wind,_  
_I'm doing fine._

Jaskier sat now in this tavern, like every other he'd ever seen the inside of and whose name he couldn't recall, drunk and numb. It wasn't like he'd ever told Geralt how he felt, anyway. Maybe he'd see him again someday. Maybe not. Perhaps he'd just spend his days singing about him, wishing he'd done some things differently so that Fate might've been more kind. Maybe she wouldn't have cared. He was _certain_ it didn't matter.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little slice of pining. I enjoyed writing it. Poor Jaskier, my sweet bisexual disaster. I wrote this all in one quick burst because I just needed to get it out of my brain.
> 
> I'll probably revisit Witcher fics when I'm finished with my other works, but all of the different fandom-worms are fighting for supremacy in my brain. I think I'll eventually start on a book-Witcher fic after I finish reading them all, but it'll probably be very different than this one and probably won't happen for a while. I can't wait for season 2 of the Netflix adaptation. Maybe I'll find time soon to sit down and play some of the games, I've only heard wonderful things. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! If you want to chat about fandom-centric things, The Witcher and tons of other stuff, you can find me on Twitter @TardisOwl. Talking to other nerds gives my brain a serotonin boost.


End file.
